


Stay

by cadkitten



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Hand Jobs, M/M, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Robosexuality, Romance, Spoilers, Triggers, technosexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:50:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3857929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It was happening again.</i>
</p><p>Another shaky breath and then the hitch and the world faded, replaced by that damned image. <i>His fault, all his fault...</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> AOU Spoilers like whoa. (If you see any typos, please let me know. It has not gone to an editor because of said spoilers. Thank you!)  
> Song[s]: Nordic Ambient Music - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiyBAmCE7d0

The faintest whisper of the sounds from outside still penetrated the Avenger's tower. Even sitting in his own living room, Tony found that he could still hear the dull roar of the life below; cars speeding past, the sound of a million voices talking, the howl of the wind from a night that matched his mood more than anything else did. The rain pattered dully against the windowpanes, nothing like the calming sound he'd once adored as a younger man... as a lighter soul. Now it was a steady thrum to match his madness and nothing more.

He sat on the floor, tucked between the side table that held his best lamp and the couch he'd severely overpaid for. Another shiver wracked through his body and he closed his eyes, doing his best to push away the feelings that he knew he couldn't hold at bay nearly long enough. His arms wrapped tighter around his midsection and he tossed his head back against the wall, pain creasing his face, muscles straining in the most awkward of ways.

_It was happening again._

Another shaky breath and then the hitch and the world faded, replaced by that damned image. _His fault, all his fault... all of his friends dead because of the decisions he'd made, the wrongs he'd done._ He'd bowed out because it was well past time that he stop endangering some of the only people he cared about in his life. But at what cost? The cost of never seeing them again? Not helping them when he could? Or maybe at the cost of his own mind. Perhaps that was more accurate now that he was sitting here on the floor, squished between his own furniture, his breath unsteady and his heart racing. 

He'd only shown one person this... only told one other about it. And then there was the one _being_ he'd eternally trusted to guide him back out of it; not with hands or any physicality at all... but with words, the softest of phrases, gentle and calming until he snapped back to reality and remembered the pills tucked away in his nightstand. But no one was here now to help him. 

His feet pushed hard at the carpet, shoving his body against the wall as he started to make little strangled sobbing sounds, the panic gripping him tighter. _His fault... all dead. His fault... one dead even when it wasn't in a dream. His fault... the horror of what had been about to befall the human race. His fault... that JARVIS wasn't here now._ The rest of his world crashed down around him and he let out a thin wail, unable to stop what was happening now. His hands scrabbled for purchase and the lamp shattered on the floor, causing him to bolt from his safe place and run for the bar area. More things shattered as he hit the island too hard with his hip, liquid splashing him and fear stabbing him worse than any wound he'd ever received. 

He turned to make a run for it, seeing nothing any longer, just the blind alleyways that this disorder provided him with. The clouded vision of panic. Tears streamed down his face and even as he slipped and went crashing to the floor, he could feel the world trying to swirl away from him. The faded edges, the prickling sense of losing himself.

"Mr. Stark... my voice, pay close attention to my voice." 

Weakly, Tony turned his head to stare up at the speaker over the bar, confusion written across his face. He rolled over into the puddle of alcohol, the crunch of glass under his back not something he paid any mind to for the time being. "JARVIS?" he questioned softly, a slight tremor in his voice.

"Where are you? Right now, tell me."

"T-the floor of my home." Tony's hands grasped his opposite elbows, holding on with a death grip as he watched the speaker, as though he expected something more to happen than this.

"Good. And everyone you care about? Natasha, Pepper, Clint, Bruce, Steve, Sam, Thor... the others... where are they?"

"H-home," he choked out, "or where they... landed."

"They're safe, Tony... safe." The voice seemed to be coming closer and Tony was certain he was imagining things that just weren't possible. "You blame yourself... for what happened. And maybe part of it was your fault."

"No maybe," Tony returned, moving one hand finally to press his fist against his mouth. 

"Okay." The voice seemed so close it was nearly tangible to him. Like it was right around the corner and he could touch JARVIS if only he tried. And oh how he'd tried some nights... those nights that he'd been so afraid, so lonely... god how he'd tried. "So part of it was your fault. But they're okay."

"Someone _died_ because of me!" Tony spat back out, anger slowly growing to cloud the panic, though it didn't lessen the episode any. If anything, it made him more dangerous during it.

"You know who killed him, Tony and it was not your hand that was raised. What you should know... is that he gave himself for Barton... and for that child. He sacrificed himself for them. It was a decision, not a requirement. You did not move him into place and shoot him in the back."

"But I built what did," Tony whispered, his eyes squeezed shut now, his form trembling once again.

"Open your eyes, Mr. Stark."

Tony slowly did as requested and then gave a startled - if not slightly panicked - gasp as he took in the being before him. 

"You also helped to build me... and JARVIS. Is that not without some reward?"

Tony lay there, wondering if he should do something rash or if he should simply surrender to whatever this was. But whatever decision was coming, he was clearly making it far too slowly.

Vision knelt down and held out his hand, offering it to help Tony off the floor. "I shouldn't be able to remember... but I can," he offered, his voice soft and soothing. "I remember those nights you fervently tried to provide me mobility... a body, a heart. I remember how often you wept in your sleep and I wanted to help you but could do nothing but listen. I remember the first day you gave me arms to help build your creations and I remember the day you named those pieces and gave them their own abilities separate from my own. And I remember every moment you relied on me to save yourself and your friends from harm. Do not ever think that I lost all of that in this... transition."

Reaching up, Tony took his hand and allowed himself to be lifted from the glass and brushed off. When he was led to the bathroom, he didn't protest it in the least, knowing he'd ruin anything he sat on with his clothes soaked in scotch and vodka. 

Even as Vision's hands began to remove his clothing, Tony simply let it all happen, wordless and utterly drained of all of his fight. 

"I may not entirely be JARVIS, but I am not without pieces of him. Memories that shouldn't exist and yet... do." Turning Tony, he gently ushered him under the warm spray of the water, stepping in with him, his clothing disappearing as he did. He was quiet as he placed a washcloth in Tony's hand, already soaped up and took a step back to give him some form of singularity in this act.

It was Tony who finally spoke, his voice stronger than before, but not without the lingering tremble that would have given him away if certain people had been present. "I _loved_ him." The words were simple, though the emotion behind them was anything but. It was laden with guilt and sadness, regret... and something deeper, something Vision had trouble analyzing as he watched Tony finally start to wash himself.

"He cared deeply for you as well, Mr. Stark."

"Don't... don't call me that. He called me that." Tony's shoulders shook slightly and even with his back turned, it was obvious he was crying again, though this time not from his disorder, not from anything that could be helped with a tiny pill from his bedside table. 

Stepping forward, Vision let his hands come to rest on Tony's shoulders, gently caressing before he pulled him back against his chest and enfolded him in the strength of his arms, his body oddly warm against Tony's back. "Tony, then." His hands slowly eased over Tony's chest and then lower, across his belly... and lower still. Even when he grasped his length, there was no protest.

Tony let his head rest against Vision's shoulder, his own hand coming to rest over the top of this being's own as his hips worked in time with the attention he was being given. His breathing quickened in an entirely different way this time, little panting moans leaving him instead of the pained cries of earlier. Muscles strained in a much more pleasurable way and Tony found himself pressing back against Vision more fully, eager to feel the body behind him. 

"I always wanted this," he whispered, a little tinge of regret seeping into the statement. "For him to give me what I needed to ease the pain."

Warm lips pressed against his neck and the hand on his cock moved faster, bringing moans bubbling up from within Tony. Vision spoke right against Tony's ear, the whisper of JARVIS' voice sending thrills down his spine. "He did too, Tony... he wanted this so badly that I cannot help myself. The urge is too strong to resist... and it is mine now as well. My desire, my _need_ to help you."

Tony's hips jerked and he gasped, straining as he held Vision's hand still and began to fuck himself against it, cock straining hard. "Tell me... more."

"He tried endlessly, in parts of his system you didn't know were even there to find a way to help you like this. He tried so hard that this... what is left within me... these memories that should not exist... exist. This was everything he ever wanted."

With a cry, Tony shoved his hips forward forcefully and let out a cry as his cum splattered the floor in front of them. Orgasm swept through him hard and efficient, bringing with it all the peace he desired. Slumping back against Vision, he breathed out, "If only you could stay..."

Vision cut the shower and then picked Tony up, stepping out and waiting for a moment while warm air blasted them dry. He gently laid Tony down in his own bed, easing himself in behind him and wrapping his arms tightly around him. His lips found Tony's shoulder, the tenderness of it almost reverent as he barely spoke the best words Tony had ever heard in his life. "Who says I can't?"


End file.
